I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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