i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
