So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
