no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
