Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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