This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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