look no pants
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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