we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
