ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he puts the penis in happiness.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
