So drunk its hurt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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