on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Two words: blizzard sex
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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