yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize