I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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