dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
