He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
