Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
