The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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