....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
