I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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