he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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