I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
