Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
