Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize