Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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