There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
