in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
