Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I supernannyed him into submission
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
