I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
