my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
