I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
