At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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