its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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