All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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