So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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