I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
