You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
