But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
