there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
