I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I deserve this hangover.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
