I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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