I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
