What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize