i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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