I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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