You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
