We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
