I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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