wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
