he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
