Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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