i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
