i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
