I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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