i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
