It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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