Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
