Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize