They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
